Reckless Abandon
by DriftingSpirit
Summary: “Maybe we shouldn’t. Us switching personalities could be bad. Like really bad.” HUDDY
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1**_

"Well, it all comes down to you wanting me."

What this conversation had been about up to this point, she couldn't remember. She'd probably tried to corner him into something or ensure something she needed him to do. Considering it was almost eleven, it couldn't have been clinic duty or anything. But she supposed none of that was really important. Up until this point, the conversation had been insignificant. Then this sentence tumbled from his vocal cords. This sentence that would change the entire dynamic of their relationship.

He'd taken long, limped strides to continue their stroll down the corridor, but she frozen several feet back. Her arms folded across her body, her fists clenched. She licked her lips over and over as her eyes studied the back of his head. She tried to laugh at his words, tried to throw them off. She couldn't shake it, though. She couldn't help but agree wholeheartedly with his sentiments. And it wasn't like she could swing things back to their originally topic either. She couldn't quite remember what it had been.

"Cuddy?" He stopped, turning to return her stare. His azure eyes squinted in quandary and he smirked. "I speak the truth, it seems."

Strength finally returned to her body and she forced herself to shift her weight to her other foot and roll her eyes. "Yeah, House. The truth is I want you with a passion my poor, neglected body can hardly contain." Her sarcasm was thick to hide the truth.

"I knew it." He resumed his swagger as she quickened her pace momentarily to catch up to him.

"Actually, I'm being serious." She flashed him her brightest smile. "I want you to make love to me until I can't remember my own name."

It's his turn to freeze mid-step, speechless. "But…?"

"Good night, House."

She walked briskly through the double doors, feeling light as air. The New Jersey sky outside was dark with heavy rain clouds and the threat of a thunderstorm. Her arms stretched up to the heavens without her consent, but she smiled anyway. What a beautiful night.

House followed her outside, though, and she sighed exhaustedly at the thought of a continued conversation this late at night.

"You really do want me?" She's surprised to hear a catch in his voice and, despite his pride, a touch of shock.

She threw him a glance over her shoulder. "What? Now?"

"No, but I'm here for you whenever 'now' is."

Nibbling at her bottom lip, she said, "Don't you have a patient or something to be thinking about right now?"

"Patient's stable." He hobbled a few steps closer. "Well?"

"Well what?" Her tone was innocent.

"Is 'now' now?"

She chuckled lightly. "Hell no."

He looked somewhat startled by this news. "No…?"

"No. What kind of boss would I be if I gave you perks like that for free, House?" She sashayed the rest of the way to her superb, I'm-Dean-of-Medicine-bitch parking space and slid her key into its slot.

"Perks? Free? Hey, you are the only one to admit lust." He pointed out, putting his hand on her car as if his strength alone would hold her there.

"Fine. If you don't want me, what are we discussing then?" She raised her eyebrows at him before climbing into her car.

He appeared in the doorway. "Okay, say I do want you. What would I have to do in order to be entitled to these so called 'perks'?"

She frowned in consideration. "Not quite sure. I'll let you know tomorrow. Can I leave now?" Her eyes flickered to his hands pressing just above her door.

He backed off. "Fine. Tomorrow. This sounds like it's going to be fun."

She could still see his eyes glinting in the dim light as she drove away from the hospital.

The next morning, she still hadn't thought of anything. She was also beginning to feel like a prostitute offering her body in exchange for something. This was House, though. She'd never get anywhere if she didn't play dirty.

Wilson was in her office when she arrived at just after eight. He looked especially well groomed that day, with his wrinkle-free clothes and polished hairstyle. A Cardiology magazine was the victim of a war between his thumb and forefinger. He stood when she entered only to sit back down immediately with a shake of his head.

"I hope you know what you're doing." He muttered, flicking open the magazine to a random page like he might have actually been reading it before she had walked in.

"You aren't the usual suspect when my office is broken into." She tugged off her coat and hung it on the rack before meandering to the other side of her desk.

"We needed to talk as soon as possible. House hinted last night when he called me in for a consult that you and he were going to start sleeping together." Wilson told her.

"Well isn't that ridiculous." She responded, smiling politely at him as she turned on her computer.

His lips parted in preparation for speech while his eyes squeezed shut. "Oh, god. Really?"

"No. He has to do something for me first."

Wilson's eyes popped open. "Do what?"

"I haven't figured that out yet."

Glee filled his expression and it almost scared her. "That's brilliant."

"You look like Christmas come early this year. Or Hanukkah, I guess, would be more appropriate." Her eyes scanned the screen as she checked her email. "That expression is kind of creepy."

"What if House wasn't House for awhile?"

"Interesting concept. Only, if House wasn't House we wouldn't be having this conversation." Her eyes drifted back to Wilson.

"No, I mean what if that was the deal? For the next, oh I don't know, month or so. Every thing he wants to do, he has to do the opposite."

"You mean saying yes when he wants to say no?"

"Exactly."

"And what's the point of that?"

Wilson rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Don't you see? He hates clinic duty, going to meetings, showing up on time, actually working, obeying your rules, and so on. If he has to do the opposite, he'd have to do all of that."

She considered for a moment. "That… sounds like a lot of work for me and I have a feeling that would backfire."

Wilson shrugged. "Maybe. Or maybe you'd get a month of filled in charts and paperwork. You could finally bill all those insurance companies."

"Paperwork in exchange for sex?" She cocked her head to the left. "Have you done this before?"

He smiled at her. "I'm just saying that's one benefit. I'm sure there would be many more. And, if nothing else, you get to mess with House for a month instead of him driving us all crazy like usual."

"What makes you think I want to mess with House? Maybe I just want to do him." She giggled once she finished her question, but quickly cleared her throat to cover it.

"If that were the case, we wouldn't be having this conversation, would we? I'd be here telling you not to hurt him and you'd be rolling your eyes because you've known him longer than I have." Wilson folded his arms triumphantly.

Cuddy nodded. "This is true. If I really wanted him, I would have had him in my bed a long time ago."

He stared at her a moment before letting his head drop into his hands. "God, Lisa. You've done this with him before?"

She laughed. "Of course not. I've only been his boss for like ten years. You've been his friend longer than that. Don't you think you would know if I had?"

"I mean before you were his boss. Did you sleep with him before?" Wilson's eyes focused in on her.

"Someone's really forward this morning." Cuddy deleted about a third of her emails before closing the browser.

"Someone's avoiding the question."

The two looked up to see House standing behind them in her office. He leaned heavily on his cane as he quickly analyzed their guilty expressions in his head. With a grin on his face, he plopped down next to Wilson.

"Good morning, Dr. House." Cuddy finally greeted when she regained her composure.

"No need for salutations. I want to hear your answer too. Have we slept together before?" He rested his chin on his folded hands, letting his eyes dance back and forth between their faces. He was quite obviously enjoying the awkwardness of the moment.

Wilson cleared his throat and stood. "I guess I should be getting back to work then. Talk with you later, Dr. Cuddy. House, stay away from my lunch."

House watched him leave before returning his gaze to her. "Well, now that the kids are gone, mommy and daddy can have special alone time."

"I'm afraid daddy is going to have to have 'special alone time' all by himself this morning. I have a ton of work to do." She tried not to look at him. It was those very eyes that had duped her so many years ago. It was probably not a good idea to risk it now.

"Have you thought of my part yet? I assume Wilson wanted in on my task and that's why you guys were huddling in your office."

"We were not huddling."

"Sure you were. Just at a distance."

A smile slipped onto her face and she finally met his eyes. "Yeah, that makes sense."

"You want me to give you a striptease? That would take us from my part to your part the quickest." He bobbed his eyebrows suggestively at her.

She stifled a giggle. "Sorry, House. I'm not that easy."

"From what I recall…" His voice faded as he smirked at her.

"For one month you have to say and do the exact opposite from what you are inclined to do in your twisted mind." She told him.

He frowned at her. "That's it? Really?"

She shrugged. "Doesn't sound like much, but I think a month of it will be worth a night together."

"How am I supposed to diagnose if I have to say the opposite?"

"Oh, you can still give the correct diagnoses and stuff."

"And stuff?" His lips quirked. "That sounds so professional."

"Are you in or not?"

He tilted his head from side to side, crinkling his face as he considered. "Okay. One month and then I do you. Again."

She nodded. "Good."

"Or I could always make you jealous again and then you'll jump me all on your own." He waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Make me jealous with who? Wilson?"

"Hey, him and me are hot together."

She leaned back in her chair. "Do we have an accord?"

"I think you are getting more out of this than me." He pouted overdramatically at her. "I think you need to do something too."

She frowned than nodded. "That could be interesting. What would you like me to do?"

"We'll, you want me to do everything I don't want to. So, you pretty much want me to be you for a month. So, I want you to be me for the month."

A laugh escaped the confines of her mouth. "That's ludicrous. You're kidding."

He shook his head. "This could get interesting."

"Okay," She bobbed her head. "You be me for a month, and I'll be you."

"Cool."

"Actually…" Her smile dropped as doubts flooded her brain. "Maybe we shouldn't. Us switching personalities could be bad. Like really bad."

"Hey, you are the one who wanted to have a reason for us to have sex. I'm cool with just doing it now and bypassing all of these games. Actually, never mind. I'm not. Either you play this game with me or you are never getting into my pants again." He threatened.

She chuckled. "I can't believe you are threatening not to have sex with me if I don't play with you."

He coughed back a laugh. "Yeah, that's how I roll."

"Okay, fine. I'm in. You and me, one month. Starting tomorrow?"

He held out his hand for her to shake. "You're on."

She took it. "Cool."

**Okay, so I switched my keyboard with my parents because that felt necessary and then I wrote this… I don't know if there is any connection… Let me know what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

She was nervous, to say the least. After a sleepless night of tossing and turning, she was also twitchy. And twitchy and nervous are not a good combination. How could she have been so stupid to agree to switch personalities with House? Had her brain fled the scene of the crime to chase butterflies? Or maybe fix a delicious bowl of corn? It didn't matter. It had left in her moment of need, and now she was stuck.

How to be House… Involved… What? How could she be House? What was it exactly that made him, him? She could be sarcastic. That part would be easy. What else, though? Make sexist, racist, bigoted, and prejudice jokes? Make Thirteen feel as uncomfortable about herself as possible while taking pot-shots at her sexual orientation? Her nurses would hate her if she treated them the way House did. This was going to have some nasty side effects on her job.

Then again, House was getting to be himself, mostly, while on the job. She should get to be herself too then while on the job, right? Maybe. Oh well. It wasn't like he was always going to be there when she was busy working.

She ran a hand through her still somewhat damp hair and frowned down at her clothes. Her power suit was definitely appropriate for her, but did it say House? No. House had never said anything about dressing as the other though. Why was she putting so much thought into this? He was probably insulting his team at that very moment and she was worried about how she was dressed. Ridiculous.

An image of House dressed in her pencil skirt and lavender blouse flashed through her head. She dug her teeth into her lip to avoid smiling.

"Are you okay, Dr. Cuddy?"

She cleared her throat as she acknowledged the donor sitting across her desk. "Of course, just fine. I think we are all squared away here. Let me walk you out."

He stood, shaking his head and waving his hands. "That's okay. I'll see myself out. You have a lot to do here, I imagine."

She nodded, offering him a smile. "Thank you so much, Mr. Ramsey. And please try to make it to the fundraiser next Friday. It's going to be a wonderful evening."

He bobbed his head once. "I'll try. Goodbye."

She watched him head out her glass doors and wondered if she had already lost the game. Was that conversation reflecting too much of her and too little of House? Well, duh. It was work, though, so maybe it didn't count.

Her eyes drifted to the clock on her computer screen. Just after eleven. House would be in his office by now. Maybe it was time she made an appearance as him.

The nerves flooded back as she sashayed to the elevator. She didn't know why, either, as she verbally sparred with him on a daily basis. This was different though. Very different.

She opened the door to his conference room just as, it appeared, House was about to insult Kutner. His lips froze mid-word, though, and the team turned to look back at her. What was she going to say? Why hadn't they had a class on switching personalities with a fellow doctor in medical school? Oh yeah, because she's the only one crazy enough to do that.

"Good morning, Dr. Cuddy." House greeted politely, resting both hands on his cane.

"Is it? I imagine wearing my underwear is uncomfortable." She garbled out and fought the blush rising into her cheeks at her own words.

He grinned at her, his lips spreading thin and wide. "You manage."

She didn't know what to say next, so she let her gaze wander to his team. All jaws down in surprise. She rested on Thirteen's expression. "What? Did you want to wear my underwear too?"

Thirteen shaped a word with her lips, but didn't say anything.

"Don't worry. Next sleepover I'll have with you." She winked at Thirteen, hoping she was acting how House did.

Next thing she knew, she was alone in House's office with him.

"What are you doing?" He inquired, looking confused, interested, and on the verge of laughter.

"Being you." She shrugged.

He chuckled. "And how was that being me?"

"How wasn't it?"

"Hitting on Thirteen? You think I hit on Thirteen? Or were you genuinely interested?" He chuckled again. "Of course, if you were genuinely interested…" He waggled his eyebrows at her.

"House, I wouldn't act how you are now."

His faced formed the expression of disbelief. "I even have to be you around you?"

"Is that going to be a problem?"

"No, I'd just be wearing less clothing, and putting a bit more sway into my hip movements."

She smiled. "Yeah, you need to work on your wiggle."

"Thirteen's been giving me private lessons."

"I wouldn't say that."

"Right. You only say boring things."

"If I'm so boring, how have I managed to hold your interest this long?"

His mouth opened for a retort, but none came.

"Exactly."

She headed out of his office feeling extremely embarrassed. Maybe she shouldn't have come to see him. Now she only felt like she'd made an ass of herself. Wait. Wasn't that a good thing? House was an ass? Everyone had said so at least once. Yay! A step in the right direction.

Pausing just outside of Wilson's office, she watched the oncologist mutter into his cell phone. Only one thought passed through her head: the ultimate test. Wilson. He would know better than anyone if she were acting like House.

Adjusting her clothes and straightening her hair, she entered the office. Wilson jumped when she brushed in without knocking, rushing to get off the phone. He eyed her curiously and licked his bottom lip.

"Dr. Cuddy. Good morning." He stuttered out, gesturing for her to sit.

She tried to think of something House would say at that moment, but her brain was drawing a blank. What the hell? She knew House better than this! Instead of a witty comment or something, she dropped down into a chair across from Wilson and let her head fall in her hands.

"I don't know how to do this!" She told him through her fingers.

"Do what?" She couldn't see his face, but she imagined he looked concerned. Wilson's good at the whole compassion/worry thing.

"How to be House! I mean, I know him so well. But when it comes down to the heat of the moment, I can't think of a single line." Cuddy rested her chin on her hands and stared at him. "Help me out. This was your idea."

"Well…" Wilson began, "Try not to start conversations for awhile. It's a lot easier to respond sarcastically than to start a conversation with some mind-blowing… something mind-blowing." He smiled and nodded. "I seem to be very eloquent this morning."

"You don't usually falter in speech when you're busy staring at a woman's chest? Somebody's got talent." She smiled sweetly at him.

"You see? It's so much easier." He paused for a moment in contemplation. "Oh! Start playing pranks on people."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "What?"

"You know House. He loves a good prank. Mostly he plays them on me, but you could play them on him." He folded his hands together, clearly very proud of himself. "What do you think?"

Cuddy nodded and shrugged at the same time. "Sounds like a plan."

"So my advice was good? Helpful?"

She climbed to her feet, giving him a secret grin. "Sure. Thank you, Dr. Wilson."

"Of course." His eyebrows lowered in suspicion. "Wait. I don't like the look on your face."

"But you like the rest of me, right?"

She left Wilson's office, and drifted down the hall towards the elevator. Maybe she'd only been thinking about the negative side of things. This could be fun. Playing pranks on House? Being sarcastic is always fun, right? This didn't have to be a bad experience if she played her card right, she could come out on top. Both literally and figuratively…

House was in the elevator when it finally stopped on her floor. She strolled in, still grinning.

"I was waiting for you; I saw you go into Wilson's office." He told her in a high pitch voice. She supposed it was meant to be hers. "I went up and down twice before you finally came."

"That's what she said."

He grinned at her. "Want to make out?"

She shook her head at him in disgust. "I would never offer that."

"My interpretation of you would." He pouted out his bottom lip.

"Which fantasy would this be from?"

"No fantasy, just remembering the you that you were in college. I liked that you better. So open and… yeah, open covers most everything." His eyebrows jotted up for a minute before coming back down.

"This… this isn't how things are supposed to work with this game!" She exclaimed. "You are supposed to be on the defensive and I'm the one who should be making snide comments!"

"Hey, I gave you a shot. You just dropped the ball." He winked at her.

They had long since hit the ground floor and gone back up. She jabbed the first floor button vehemently, glaring at him. "I don't know why I'm wasting my time in an elevator with you."

"Because you want to make out." He supplemented encouragingly. "Right?"

She smiled maliciously at him as they arrived back on the first floor. "Right." She stepped out.

There was something wrong with her office; she realized when she passed through the double doors. All of the furniture was still there. The low hum of her computer said it had gone into sleep mode, so no one had messed with it. Oh, yeah. Cameron was sitting in her chair.

Her facial expression was bothered and confused. Her clothes said professional and model-small. Her history said 'I'm easy when I'm drunk or high.' Combining all of that together said… what?

"What did you do?" Cameron asked in a manner of greeting, standing. "What are you giving him in exchange?"

"My life, my body, my soul, and a homemade baked Alaska."

Cameron rolled her eyes. "You know that isn't what I'm talking about."

"You're talking about House."

"Yes."

"You're always talking to me about House. Is he just an excuse to spend time with me or does he really have that big of an effect on your life?" Cuddy questioned.

Cameron's mouth opened and closed several times. "I don't know how to answer that."

"Don't worry, that's a telling enough answer."

Cameron moistened her lips. "I passed House on my way into work today. He was polite and friendly and even somewhat enjoyable. Pleasant, really."

"Enjoyable? Pleasant? Sounds like we have a real problem on our hands." Cuddy responded sarcastically.

"I just assumed it had something to do with you."

"It does." Cuddy said honestly.

"You are giving him something in exchange?"

"Yep."

"What?" Cameron asked, looking thoroughly stumped.

Cuddy grinned broadly at her. "Sex."


End file.
